I want a t-shirt with this printed on it!  And a poster to hang in my house - framed...  Thanks!

My dog has been sick the past couple weeks, so much so I had to take her to the vet. The first vet bill racked up $260 with minimal insight into what was really wrong. The night we got the semi-results back from her tests at the vet, things really took a turn for the worse and I had to take her to the emergency vet in the middle of the night because she was peeing blood. I thought she was dying, they said she probably just has an extremely bad urinary tract infection - or so they hoped. They sent me off with meds and another whopping $360 bill. Next morning, dog's not eating - and if you knew my dog, you'd know that is a major red flag - because she eats everything - including things you wouldn't have even thought were edible. I call the emergency vet back and they say that's not good, and to bring her back in. They don't charge me for coming back in, but they have to run more tests and change up the meds, so I get out of there with what is, by comparison, a measly $150 bill. All in all, that's what, around $800. That's like paying 2 rents in one month. Suffice it to say, there was some deduction in my savings that needed to happen - which I'm not thrilled about.

Rather than try to recoop(sp?) my expenses over time, I decided to try and sell some stuff to make a little bit back. I'm selling my electric guitar, which I haven't played since I bought it, and hopefully this person who called about it will actually come get it this weekend. But also, I have a stack of pretty decent clothes I'm selling on E-bay. Now, I put all this stuff up there for fairly cheap, and decided, hey, that's neat, you can donate a portion of what you sell to some non-profits. I chose 10% - without reading the fine print. The fine print indicates that you have to pay the non-profits a minimum of $5 in order for it to be "worth" their while. So basically, I wonderfully screwed myself over, and will likely make zero money - unless these E-bayers get nice and hot and bothered and start bidding like mad in order to get that final price up and over the $5 mark. I padded the shipping pretty minimally, probably like $1 or $2, so I thought I would make a little bit of moola.

Apparently, I've contracted to give all my money away to some lovely non-profits. So bless my little heart!!! And send some money vibes my way.... or, just plain money, send it to me!

This has never occurred because in my family as soon as you open your mouth to discuss something, already having the courtesy to phrase your opinion about a movie or book who others may not have seen, they will inevitably jump down your throat screaming, DON'T GIVE AWAY THE ENDING - as if they expect you to be the kind of real asshole who would do that... never fails

It's come to this - posting of lists.  But I worked hard on this one so I'm posting it here.

1. When I was at UW my creative writing teachers either loved me or hated me – one actually left the room when it was my turn to be critiqued because he didn’t know how to critique what I’d written. Guess that means I’m doing a good job!
2. When I was taking a painting class at Tacoma Community College, my teacher there described my work as, “well, just plain weird.” Again, I pat myself on the back!
3. I am writing this to you from a couch that smells like cat piss and am considering putting it in the hall to see what people do.
4. I’m learning Finnish. Se on vaikea!
5. Because I’ve only ever had bad experiences dancing salsa this form of dancing is strictly forbidden in Monde de Danielle – unless you wanna fight!
6. My favorite place in Seattle is Hattie’s Hat.
7. I am currently doing a research project that no one knows about on bathroom graffiti.
8. I think it would be an interesting experiment in human psychosis if the government turned off all TV stations once a week. People would either return to Leave-it-to-Beaver land, or incite riots, I’m not sure which. Or just get really drunk. I would get drunk and riot.
9. If I could rid the world of one thing, it would be wall-to-wall carpet. It has no redeeming value other than buggy parasite trappings and insulating cat pee. Same goes for hipsters.
10. I can kick all your asses at word games.
11. I am not pleasant to be around if I’ve had whiskey – something about the Southern dirt in there makes me want to fight.
12. I used to ride the short bus. Literally. So did all my friends. We were in the “challenge” class. (Which was actually for smart kids, but… I don’t know how smart we were for allowing ourselves to ride that thing)
13. I’m rather sensitive to remarks, or ‘faces’ people do to imitate my eyes – I’ve never quite gotten over this childhood thorn in my side. Let’s fight!
14. Apparently I’m intense???? This word’s been used to describe me more than once. I mean, intense? What’s that mean? It’s called, having an opinion. Let’s fight! 
15. I have no respect for socks and don’t care if my socks don’t match. In fact I prefer it that way.
16. I lived in Australia for a year – Tasmania actually. I can’t do anything normal apparently.
17. This past Saturday I managed to melt the handle off my coffee perker, then later, melted my one and only knife when I turned on the oven and forgot it was in there. This was also the day my cat woke me up with exploding diarrhea. You’re welcome for sharing.
18. I seem to have developed, or possibly awakened, some latent ADD, because I can’t seem to sit through movies anymore. Or maybe, I’m just not as forgiving about a bad movie wasting my time as I used to be.
19. I love fried egg sandwiches!!!
20. My favorite author is Poppy Z Brite – I just friended her on Livejournal – that’s how cool she is
21. I prefer vintage over new
22. I see myself living abroad when I “settle down”
23. I’m turning 30 this year, and ideally I’d like to go to London to see the 69 Eyes play at the Electric Ballroom. (this may or may not happen – I’m sort of a last minute traveler)
24. When I tried to be a bicycle commuter my bicycle bit me and I think it’s left a permanent scar on my ankle because I can still see the teeth marks
25. Mirrors are like notepads to me – I like to write on them.

I want to be this (dude?) -

A manager, who I'll call Rouva X, who I may or may not know, may or may not have asked me, to contact the hotel he/she recently stayed at. Some posh-ass joint in a large metropolitan city on the East Coast, which you may or may not know. X tells me a refund is in order for the 20th, because X didn't stay there on the 20th. But here it is right here on the receipt. 'You need to call the hotel and get that charge reversed. And find out how they will reimburse me!' - Ok.

I fax the hotel the receipt, circling the charges for the 20th, and indicate 'Refund' on the fax. They tell me they'll research it. Shortly thereafter, Rouva X sends me another e-mail saying, this bastardly hotel charged ANOTHER $300 for something, who knows what? 'I didn't get a receipt for it, so you'll have to contact the hotel' I'm told. I need to get that refunded too, because that can't be right! I forward on this heinous crime to the hotel as well.

The hotel contacts me about the room charges for the 20th saying, Ummmm, yeah, we're charging for the room that date because X checked in that day and actually stayed here that day.

Me: Thanks. Idiot!


Enter stage left, Hotel: We listened to the recordings of the calls that Rouva X made to us (because we're a posh-ass hotel so we can afford to record dumbasses like this one) - and Rouva X called not once, but TWICE, to confirm that the arrival date was the 19th!

Enter stage right, Rouva X: But I didn't show up on the 19th.
Hotel: Hence the $300 for a No-Show fee.
Interpreter: No-Show fee, aka an Idiot Tax

End Scene

Congratulations!!! And now your 'underling' knows just what a flaming idiot you are - though he/she may or may not have already realized this about you... and, um, this may or may not have been based on a true story anyway.

Idiots. That's my topic of interest for the day -

This is what has not made the cut this year in my corpo-America due to the economy:

Utensils
Plates
Calendars
Individual trash cans
Lunch Meetings/Ordering lunches
Pay increases

What are people whining about the most?
Utensils & calendars. You mean I have to download my own? God - Tina come get some ham!